Friday, April 22, 2011

Barney : We are also a Band!

Barney's Video Resume

As seen on Season 4 Episode 14 " The Possimpible" and on his  site . Here's the extended version of Barney's video resume! Which apparently got him 11 job offers

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Freeway Exits Theory of Relationships

Relationships are like a freeway. Freeways have exits, so do relationships. The first one, my personal favorite, is 6 hrs in. You meet, you talk, you have sex, you leave while she's in the shower. The next exits are 4 days, 3 weeks, 7 months, then a year and a half, 18 years, and the last exit, death. Which, if you've been with the same woman all your life, it's like 'are we there yet'?

The Hot Crazy Scale

The Hot/Crazy Scale is a graph used to display someone's hot-to-crazy ratio. A person is allowed to be crazy, as long as they are equally hot. Ideally, you want your date to be above the diagonal line, indicating that they are hotter than they are crazy.
The diagonal line is known as the Vicky Mendoza diagonal by Barney, after a girl he dated who jumped back and forth across the line by shaving her head, then losing ten pounds, then stabbing Barney with a fork and finally getting a boob job.
The bottom-right corner of the scale is dubbed the Shelly Gallebsy zone by Barney, after another girl he dated who fell into that area after gaining twenty pounds and trying to kill him with a brick.
Barney explains the Hot-Crazy scale to the gang after Ted introduces them to Blah Blah, his crazy girlfriend at the time.

When Barney tracks how Vicky Mendoza's actions affect her position on the hot-crazy scale, some errors occur. By losing ten pounds, it's assumed that her hotness would increase, but instead her hotness remains the same and Barney lowers her crazyness. When she stabbed him with a fork, her craziness and hotness increase, instead of just her craziness. Finally, by getting a boob job, Barney leaves her hotness at the same level and reduces her craziness instead. It can be taken in consideration that losing weight equals a decline of crazy yet is not inherent to an increase in hot. Over time, a shaved head would regain hair thus increasing the hot rating yet this would be balanced out by the stabbing of the fork which clearly falls under crazy. The boob job, much like the weight loss, does not apply to an inherent increase in hotness but does reduce the actual rate of crazy, resulting in crossing the diagonal trice.

The Lemon Law of Dating

I henceforth declare the following- From this moment on, there shall exists in the world of dating and mating a Lemon Law, which for copyright purposes shall be dubbed “The Barney Law.”
It shall operate on the following conditions : all persons involved in a mutually decided upon date have exactly 5 minutes from the moment of meeting to decide if the date will proceed for the rest of the night or not. Within the first five minutes of coming together either party can call the date off for any reason,  avoiding bad dates.

Barney lives by the “Bro Code”, his own code of rules, which includes a lemon law for blind dates